Thirty-two

32-22= The year I hit double digits
32-19= The year I became a teenager
32-16= The year I started to drive
32-14= The year I was able to vote
32-11= The year I could buy beer and go to a bar legally
32-9= The year I started my career
32-7= The year I got married
32-3= The year I had Ben
32-2= The year I freaked out on my birthday
32-1= The year I freaked out on my birthday
32-0 = The year I freaked out on my birthday

Dem Bones

Me: Ben, why don't you want your milk?
Ben: I don't need it.
Me: Why?
Ben: I already have bones and they're already strong.

Lying to your child

I've stretched the truth before with Ben to make him not worry. I don't mean to lie but sometimes I just say things without really thinking about the fact that it's actually not true, instead I'm just thinking about what I can tell my little boy to make him feel better. Rest assured I don't plan on lying to my child forever, or even mean to do it now. In fact I hope to be very open an honest with him. I hope that he feels like he can always come to us with anything and know that we will always be there for him. When he asks me where babies come from I'm not going to tell him the stork. I will be age appropriate though! But the point is that over the past few months I've noticed that I do this and that it can potentially bite me in the arse.

Like when he saw an earthquake on TV and he got scared and I told him that he shouldn't be scared because we don't have earthquakes in Cincinnati. Three days later we had an earthquake. Fortunately he was staying at my mother in law's and didn't feel it because if he had I'm sure he would have said "Mommy, you said we didn't have earthquakes.

Fast forward to two days ago when it was storming outside. Ben hates storms so I try to make them okay. We normally talk about how rain helps the flowers go. That particular morning I said "Ooh, did you hear the thunder?" He says "Mommy, that's not thunder, that's just angel's bowling." I did not tell him this lie, he's father did. Unlike the earthquake incident the only problem I can foresee is Ben raising his hand in science class and answering the question"Why does it thunder?" incorrectly. My hope is that by the time he gets asked that question he'll figure out it's not really angels bowling.

As we continued our morning and drove to school in the pouring rain a bright bolt of lightning flashed through the sky. Ben jumped a little and I immediately said "Don't worry, lightning can't hurt you." Before I could stop myself from finishing that statement I knew I shouldn't' have said it as lightning can clearly hurt you. So I start having a conversation with myself. Do I tell him it can? Do I tell him it can but it's very rare? Do I tell him not to hold a metal rod in his hand when it's lighting? Do I just let it go and the next time there's lightning I tell him it can hurt him? Honestly in a very short amount of time all these thoughts went through my head as well as how I needed to start saving for his therapy bill so he can talk to someone about how he had a mom who lied to him.

As I'm drowning in guilt my sweet, logical, creative, hilarious son says "I know mommy, those bugs are very little." It took about 20 seconds for me to realize he was talking about lightning bugs. I forgot the guilt and instead engaged my son in a discussion about how he thinks lightning bugs fly up in the sky to make lightning and then come back down at night and fly around our house.

He's three. He's funny. He'll be okay. The lightning conversation will happen but not too soon, Ben's version is much better.

Three Cheers for being Three

Ben had his third birthday a month ago...yeah, I'm slow. The past three years have been an amazing journey for me. It's hard to believe how much you can truly love someone. I love my family and I love my husband but the love I feel for my son is indescribable. Every day he makes me laugh, teaches me something, sometimes drives me a little crazy, but always makes me smile. Every now and then Andy and I talk about how amazing that this little boy came from us. Ben makes us better people, makes us a better couple. Thanks Ben Ben for the joy you have brought me and continue to bring.







Ben's "Birth"day















Ben's 1st Birthday
















Ben's 2nd Birthday

Ben's 3rd Birthday

Just the two of us

Ben is in NYC with his grandparents, aunt, uncle and all his cousins. When my dad was either in college or just out ( I'm kind of unclear on the timing) he drove to all of the MLB ballparks (this was the 70's.) Anyway, he decided he wanted to do this with his grandchildren. Obviously it's going to take several years instead of a few months considering he has 6 grand kids and four of them are under the age of three. Anyway, this year's games include the Yankee's and Mets in NYC and then the Devil Rays and Marlins in Florida. Andy and I couldn't go with the family this weekend but we're all headed to FL in a week. Ben is the luckiest kid in the world...no lie.

So, Andy and I have the house and our time to ourselves for a few days. Amazingly over the past few months, we've rediscovered ourselves as people not just parents, after a couple of years being lost. We've enjoyed the day together and with friends. We went to breakfast, I saw a movie and then went out to dinner with drinks! I miss Ben but I am enjoying a little down time. That being said, I've called my parents three times today and I'm assuming I'll call a couple more tomorrow...then Monday and Tuesday. Ben is doing is daddy proud...before 10:00 this morning he told his Pop that the Yankee's stink. Way to go Ben:)

I have a ton of pictures to post from Ben's b-day, and that's my plan for tomorrow so stand by!

That was then....This is now

Going to hear a band 10 years ago....

Check my hair, check my lipstick, grab my id and some cash. Call up my friends and have them drive me to a smoky bar, hope I get carded so I can pull out my id and laugh at the door guy who thought I was too young to get in. Stand as close to the stage as possible. Dance and hold a beer while I try and decide if the singer is truly as deep and sensitive as his music makes him out to be. Stay until the bar closes and get ready to do it all again the next day.

Going to hear a band today....

Come inside from working in the yard all day. Jump in the shower and try to make my hair presentable. Convince my husband that we're not too tired to go. Run to the store to buy some earplugs for my 3 year old. Hop in the car with a spill proof cup and snacks and one very sleeping boy. Head downtown to an outdoor festival where kids are permitted and look for a close and cheap parking space. Get sleeping child out of car and carry 2 blocks to the stage. Make husband hold child while I purchase beer (without even considering having my id on me) so I don't look like a bad mom. Run into friends who are happy to see me outside of work and not a total witch. Listen to band and slightly sway to the music with child on hip. Think about how I was once cool. Once band is finished say goodbye and head to the carnival rides child has been wanting to ride since the moment we arrived. Arrive home after only being gone 2.5 hours including drive time.

Life has changed for sure but it's good. Ben did get to see his very first show which I was really excited about. I'm not sure he enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed my first concert at the ripe old age of 4 but he was tired and I was older. Regardless, I was happy to have him there as it made me feel a little bit cool again...for a mom that is. Plus, Andy and I thought the band was great. After hearing all about Bad Veins from my friend and listening to a demo cd I was excited to have the opportunity to hear them live. The fact that they were playing at the Taste of Cincinnati where I could bring Ben made it possible. Here's proof we were there...it's like playing Where's Waldo.

So, the moral of this adventure is that I am going to first, make sure that I find myself again and partake in those things that used to bring me joy, i.e. music. Also, I'm going to make sure that I include Ben in those things that I'm doing. I know that my love of music came from my mom. She took me to my first concert, always had music playing around the house and getting a record in the mail from Columbia House was like Christmas. I want that for Ben too...although I'm not so sure downloading from iTunes is as exciting as getting a record in the mail....but whatever. And finally, Andy has dreams of Ben being a professional baseball player...I hope he becomes a rock star.

A completed project

You may not know this but I am a fairly crafty person. I love to cross stitch, crochet, make holiday ornaments and a year and a half ago I even made two beginner baby quilts. In the hustle and bustle of daily life I have not not crafted in ages even though it is the one thing that completely relaxes me.

I'm back!

7 years ago my mother in law and I made a wreath using the dried flowers from my wedding bouquet. I love it...and while it's lost some of it's color it hangs in my dining room and every time I see it I think of the day Andy and I married. A couple of years ago a friend was getting married and I offered to do the same for her. I gave her the wreath but she never acknowledged it so I just assumed that it sucked and that mine meant so much to me because I made it myself.

This past October Andy and I went to our very close friends wedding in Charleston, S.C. We had such a great time and in the moment I said to the bride, "Do you want me to take your flowers home, dry them and make them into a wreath?" She said yes and immediately I regretted it because what if I destroyed her wedding flowers. Driving them back to Ohio was nerve racking enough but then actually having evidence of my friend's most memorable day in my hands, I was freaked.

Anyway, the flowers were left hanging in my mother in law's garage until last week. That's right 7 months. I'm quick huh. As the annual derby party was approaching I realized that I was going to see our friends and I needed to get it finished. I spent one hour with my mother in law and it was finished. I was pleased with the aesthetics but still nervous about the brides reaction.

No need to worry! I gave the wreath to her last night and she loved it. not only did she love it but our other friends who are getting married in September want one too.

So here's to crafting, I'm going to do it, I swear. Next project...the scrapbook for my mother in law's retirement...it was last June.